what are your thoughts on this song?

i wrote it, i have the tune in my head so i know what im going to do.
acoustically.

Summer Rain

Open eyed and bleeding with a kiss,
Awaiting your arrival.
Embracing all your flaws as you take mine,
We invite the summer rain in.

I watch the moon crawl,
With you sitting by my side.
The sun has died,
As have I and gone to heaven.

Watching all the mourners crack a smile,
Is enough to ill a blind man.
Nothing can deprive us of our joy,
Not even crystal sadness.

Maybe were too young,
To know our love as true.
But looking at you,
I have died and gone to heaven.

Shining like a meadow in the sun,
The ripples aid the water.
Blinded by the tears of the loved,
No longer with another.

Hours have all gone,
Yet i'm not ready to go.
We both know,
We have died and gone to heaven.